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Thanks For The Ride

by Comfy

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1.
Garment 03:23
I can tell there's something going on here. Don't give me that same story that you gave me twice before. Telling me that everything is fine, when clearly the signs that I'm picking up, they indicate the worst. It seems that complacency has calmly taken the place of happiness and no one seems to care. Every day, I'm running through a maze I built for myself. I reach the end, and then I go to bed. This feeling's not like a garment. Put it on and take it off the next day. Inside me, like an apartment for all the things that I hate. I can sense the menace behind all the friendly faces. Everything is painted with rain and black as charcoal. I'm afraid of friends and family. They're not what they say. All my favorite bands seem lame and unappealing. All my favorite foods have so tragically lost their flavor. I know everyone's against me. Don't feed me your lies.
2.
Ketchup 03:17
Ketchup coming out of my ears. Nobody can see what I fear. And all the fake blood in the world could not convey the nihilistic horror I feel every day. I know that you wanna believe. UFO-shaped heart on your sleeve. When everything is falling down, I get so hard to be around. The hairy, gnarled, blackened hand emerging from a pentagram-shaped frown, deep down. What a clown. I'm all right, got a light black as night. Nothing that I know isn't wrong. Every word you sing is a song. And even though the telephone, it works both ways, I can't come up with a single word to say. Walking all over my hometown. Never left, so I'm still around. I say I'm gonna leave this place, yet shackled like a three-legged race. And what is there that isn't here that trumps the existential fear and doubt deep down? What a clown. I'm all right, got a light black as night. Hold on, I know nothing's wrong. Left brain's kicking right brain although right brain's got the reins. So long, rhyme and reason. Left you long ago though I'm no good at fond farewells.
3.
Sequel 03:29
Wait. Sit alone all night. Get into a fight with yourself about what to do. Where are they now that you are the one who's blue? Did you think you were invincible? You're driving all across the town in search of something that will drown out all the doubt you can't keep down. Hope, gnawing like a dog, turning like a cog. Listening to old saved voicemails. Sit, do nothing but think, "Something's bound to break." Drowning yet refuse a life raft. Oh, you've tarnished what was good as gold. No one but you could be so bold. Now you're alone, without a trace. Nowhere else to aim. No one else to blame your problems on. It's true. Isn't it a shame? You shot yourself, but missed and hit your foot. Room, home again alone, when you could have thrown your body into a river. Good, glad to be alive, so these thoughts can thrive like a sequel no one wanted. Nostalgia, dread, and grief and fear, they hold you close when no one's near enough to care.
4.
Honest 04:26
If you asked me what I believe, I'd say, "I don't know," and then I would leave. I could spout some leftist cliche, but could I back it up at the end of the day? If I'm honest, and don't pretend that I'm not as fucked as the people that I can't stand, maybe I could love everyone, or even just relax and try not to freak out so much. Every day, I play a stupid game instead of having fun or getting on the next plane to somewhere I'd really like to be. I don't know where that is. I've never been across seas. Told myself I'd make the time when I had the time, now I have the time. Still struggling with petty doubts. Enough shame and denial to make me rip my hair out. So I'm doing it yet again: write a silly song, play it for my silly friends. It's not perfect, but it's what I know. What have you been up to? Where does all the time go? Hey man, I know that it's been a while, but I'm still caught up sorting through this weird pile of the stuff that fell out of my head. Guess it could be worse. I could be a piece of bread. I don't know just where I wanna go. I hardly know myself, I just know what I don't know. Even my dad's mind isn't made up. Says he doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up.
5.
The Spectre 04:12
Feel the spectre descend like a cloud of smoke. Breathe it into your lungs, yeah, you cough and choke. You can't shake it, it sticks to your teeth and clothes. Try to fake, but it's plain, everybody knows. Hear the spectre singing in harmony with reflections of who I used to be. Forge the chains for myself, though I know I'm free. I'm the change that I crave, know it's up to me. And everybody seems okay, nobody gnawing on their brains like the ones who came from graves for me with boats of gravy, craving stranger strains of pain that stained the brain and still remain alive. If you could stand up, step out of the cage, then you would. There's no doubt. No way out. Feel the poison pulsing through and through. Hear your voice, though it's stained with black and blue. Fear the void, though it's all that remains that's true. It's the choice that's engulfed both me and you.
6.
Tell me what you want me to hear that's in your heart or in your heart of hearts. I know it's hard sometimes, but pay no mind, and make it into something you could love as much as you should love you. Tell me what you felt from the start, when you were falling through your broken heart. I know I left you high and dry, but so was I, so please don't drag me around like I'm your stupid dog or something. All I feel, yeah, I know it ain't easy to understand. I lost my love, and it's not the season to get it back. A joke, like me. I know I'm not the reason for anything. Oh, all I feel is dumb. Tell me how you're falling apart, and keep on fucking with my head and heart. I know it's dumb but I can't be around you. Tell you that I'm sorry a thousand times until I die forever.
7.
Nicholas, I know you're gonna make it, friend. Of the darkest times I've spent, the ones with you were best. If I had my way, we'd be a mile apart or less. But life is strange, and very long, and best lived with no regrets.
8.
Wake Up 05:21
Wake up, feel your mind try to tell you that the things you feel are fine. You'll make it through the parts of you that fight. Hey love, it's a sight to see you scramble through the days without a light. I joke at you, but I feel too uptight. I know thirty ways to waste a day, and someday I'll waste away and leave you all alone. Say that all I need is space and time, but all I've got is space and time. I'm wasting it tonight and every night. Wake up, feel all right. Think about the things you won't do, but you might, 'till nothing new devours you, and cry. Make up with your mind, and throw the pieces of the puzzle on the fire. You may not do your best, but you can try. I know everything I want to be is something I'll never see, but how did I get here? Wasted, grasping with a tightened fist for something that don't exist. It's never been there. I'll be here all week. Wake up, feel your mind try to tell you that the things you feel are fine. You'll make it through the parts of you that fight.
9.
Sum of Parts 03:53
Do you wonder what to do with the hours spent in your room? Have you put some time and thought into our dread, impending doom? Do you wonder what it was that you saw inside the fuzz that was flickering on the TV screen you left on just because it seemed more interesting than magazines? And now it's a spiral in your heart that gradually tears your world apart. You can see the end, but can't find the start. It's not the whole, just sum of parts. Have you started to unwind the cat's cradle in your mind? Deep inside, you'll start to find the things you left behind. When you get there you will know that you never let it go, and you'll be all tangled in the angles of a tic-tac-toe. You wait to face your fate in a stalemate. And now it's a spiral in your heart that gradually tears your world apart. You can see the end, but can't find the start. It's not the whole, just sum of parts.

about

“Thanks For The Ride” is an exercise in independence: independence from my parents, a partner, my live band, and a recording engineer. It was recorded during my move from my home of Utica, NY to Philadelphia, PA.

T H A N K Y O U :

Members of Comfy past and present:

Jacob Crofoot
Michael Doherty
Scoops Dardaris
Zeno Pittarelli
Ben Hicks
Bobby Rogan
Dylan Vaisey
Doug LaFlamme
Andrew Sblendorio
Seth Nathan
Darryl Rahn
Zack Marsh
Santi Slade
Joey Degrado
Jack Washburn
Evan Marré
Paul Crowther
Ricky Turner
Tim Schram
Mark Wagner

Mom and Dad
Everyone else who believed in me when I couldn’t
Everyone who’s booked us, played with us, or let us sleep in their house.
Anyone who’s come to one of our shows and danced, bopped their head, stood placidly with arms crossed, bought a tape, worn one of our buttons, or enjoyed our music in any capacity
Everyone in Utica, NY and Philadelphia, PA who helped make home feel like home
Everyone out there still listening. Thank you for your love and patience.

Don’t forget I love you.
-CB

credits

released March 9, 2018

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Connor Benincasa
Recorded September 2016-July 2017 at the Mayro Building & Dad and Barb’s house (Utica, NY) and at home (Philadelphia, PA)
Mixed by Evan Marré
Mastered by Nick Sebastiano
Album art by Nick Meyers
Art inspired by photographs taken by Alexis Aguam

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Comfy Rochester, New York

Connor "thanks for the ride" Benincasa & friends

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